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NOTES ON THE FLY: A BLOG

Postponing Your SPECIAL DAY in the time of a Pandemic

3/31/2020

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Greetings to all from BearFly Designs! We hope you are safe and healthy, and staying home.

As we continue to monitor the state of the Pandemic from our home, we realize how much has changed since our office closed just 10 days ago. The hopeful message we sent out that day via social media regarding live streaming smaller events was quickly dashed within a day or two as our naïveté was met with stark realism.

We are still eager to help in any way that we can, which for now, means rescheduling dates that are soon upon us. We have waived all fees relating to moving dates whether they are to later this year or next year. Any deposits we have received will move with the date. It is the least we can do.

But we want to do more. We've read a number of articles from the families' perspective when having to postpone a wedding. The following is an excerpt that we found to be the most honest and helpful when you are faced with the stress of making such a decision. 

Your wedding day is very important. Please remember, however,  your love will last. Postponing the day in times like these will become a sensational story to tell at your Twenty-fifth Anniversary Party!

I'm Postponing My Wedding Because of the Coronavirus. Here Are My Biggest Tips For Other Couples
Pop Sugar, March 26, 2020 by Lauren Dana--excerpted

1. Take Some Time to Cry
There's no sugarcoating this situation: Everything about the coronavirus outbreak sucks. It's important to acknowledge how it's affecting you personally and allow yourself to feel sad about it. Before going full steam ahead with rescheduling everything, take a few days to focus on you. Find healthy ways to cope with your sadness, whether it's screaming into a pillow (it works!) or eating ice cream and watching movies. My therapist reminded me that while, thankfully, nobody has died in my situation, it was still, in a way, a loss. As a result, I was experiencing waves of grief. And I still am. Fast-forward one week, and I'm starting to turn the corner, slowly but surely.


2. Reach Out to Your Vendors, but Don't Bombard Them
Philadelphia-based content creator Olivia Muenter recently postponed her May 2020 wedding to 2021. While every venue and vendor is different, she recommends cross-checking your venue's availability with priority vendors. For example, if your venue is available on Feb. 13 and Feb. 20 but your dream videographer (whom you simply can't imagine your wedding without) is only available Feb. 20, go with that date. Remember that this is an unprecedented time for vendors, caterers, and venues, too, so try to be as empathetic, patient, and flexible as possible. (Yes, it's easier said than done, but try!) Kindness truly goes a long way in these situations.


3. Try to Plan Ahead as Much as Possible
The more proactive you are, the easier it'll be to reschedule your special day. If you wait until the very last minute, you may run into additional complications (i.e. fewer dates available, increased pricing). "My advice to couples is to try to keep things in perspective as much as possible," Muenter told POPSUGAR. "Yes, this is a crazy time, and yes, this is all wildly disappointing, but at the end of the day, making a backup plan, preparing for the worst-case scenario, and, above all, following CDC guidelines is going to allow you to have the wedding you want, whether it happens this year or next."


4. Rely on Your Bridal Party
While I have yet to officially postpone my original wedding date via new invites, I have informed my bridal party of my two backup dates. My plan is to have them help me spread the word to other friends and family members. When I canceled my bridal shower, I found my bridesmaids and my mom to be especially helpful. At that time, I was extremely upset — I practically burst into tears whenever someone brought it up in conversation — so having them tell all the guests took the emotional strain off of me.
No matter how you choose to proceed with your upcoming nuptials, please know that you're not alone! From one engaged person to another, I'm sending you all a virtual hug — and remember, we will get through this together!
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    Author

    Rita Kogler Carver is the co-founder of BearFly Designs LLC.

    Rita holds an MFA in Lighting Design from New York University, and a BA in Design from Cedar Crest College. A retired member of United Scenic Artists Local 829, NABET Local 16, IES, IALD and ESTA, Rita has been a sought after speaker, lecturer, and writer. Her textbook Stage Craft Fundamentals is in its 3rd edition.
    Rita won an Emmy Award for her Lighting Design work on the “2000 Sydney Olympics,” an Emmy nomination for the Montel Williams Show as well as a Silver Axiem Award. She also won a Silver Axiem Award for Elmo’s World.  

    Among Rita's numerous television projects is the Systems and Lighting Design for the world premier of the Middle East Television Network. Other TV credits include Good Morning America, PrimeTime Live, Discovery News, ESPN Sports Century and more.

    Rita worked professionally as a theatrically trained designer for almost 20 years, working as an Associate Lighting Designer in Broadway Theatre - both on and off, Regional Theatre, Dance and Opera - both American and European. Broadway Productions include An American Daughter, Once Upon a Mattress, A Delicate Balance, The Sisters Rosensweig, Guys and Dolls, Ain’t Misbehavin’, and Paper Moon.

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